"starting at"? Maybe that's that thing. If you go up to a bunch of billions, you could perhaps buy Google and then have them rank you in the top 10

The
fine print has some details:
[quote]Any Web site that is all Flash, contains frames/layers or adult content is not eligible for the guarantee. [/quote]
Sorry, Garrick. No porn, probably no viagra either. Though when you think of it, you could rank for those keywords without having an adult site...
[quote]Guarantees may be voided for, (...) Web sites that have been altered after they have been optimized by Network Solutions, [/quote]
That's going to help

. You can't change your content afterwards. Heh.
[quote]... Web sites that are cloned, or that do not use 301 for redirects.[/quote]
Interesting choice of other criteria.
[quote]For optimization packages ("Top 10 Search Results service"), Network Solutions guarantees a minimum number of top ten listings in one or more of 12 search engines within 10 months from completion date.[/quote]
YEEHAW!! #1 on Lycos! or was it Hotbot? HERE COMES THE TRAFFIC!!
[quote]Most engines will index your site in about three (3) months, but it takes time to gain the popularity and ranking needed to compete using competitive phrases. [/quote]
Huh? "Most engines will index your site"? Is that like in "not all"?
[quote]Network Solutions will only submit keywords to search engines in the United States.[/quote]
Great!! Because submitting keywords doesn't work and I'd hate to lose all my traffic!!
[quote]The search engines included are: AOL, AlltheWeb, AltaVista, Ask.com (formerly known as AskJeeves), Google, Hotbot, IWon, Looksmart, Lycos, MSN, Netscape, and Yahoo!. [/quote]
At least they aren't made up or run by NS themselves. Good research there!
[quote]The minimum number of top ten listings guaranteed is 5 for the 20 keyword phrase package, 10 for the 30 keyword phrase package and 20 for the 50 keyword phrase package. There is no guarantee for the 10 keyword package. [/quote]
I imagine the "10 keyword package" is the one for $1800 -- no guarantee. Bummer.
[quote]The guarantee is a full money back guarantee, subject to these and the other terms and conditions of our Services Agreement, provided at the 10 month mark from date of completion if results are not obtained. [/quote]
I bet it would be pretty embarrassing to not get into the top of some of those search engines (depending on the keywords). I wonder how long the site has to remain in the top? A day? An hour? Who keeps track?
[quote]This service(s) does not guarantee any sales or traffic to your Web site.[/quote]
Yep - because if you're in the top on Ask, you might get 2 visitors a month (unless you rank for "chicks with swords" - oh wait, no adult sites...).
[quote][Network Solutions is not affiliated with these submission services in any way.[/quote]
The rest might sound like they actually do something, this sounds like they just get somebody inexpensive to do search engine submission... How long does it take to submit a site to 20 search engines? Sigh.
Looking up "search engine optimization" in their
glossary you find:
[quote]Search Engine Optimization (SEO) makes your site more appealing to search engines and gives them a better understanding of who they should send to your site. Optimizing your Web site should result in a high placement in 'natural search results,' or in the area where companies aren't paying to be listed.[/quote]
So for that amount, they're just going to fiddle with your homepage, add some keyword meta-tags (as many as you pay them for) and ... submit the site to the search engines?
I think I'm in the wrong business.
John