Jump to content

Cre8asiteforums Internet Marketing
and Conversion Web Design


Which Headline Is Best

  • Please log in to reply
20 replies to this topic

#1 john5165


    New To Community

  • Members
  • 1 posts

Posted 07 August 2007 - 05:55 PM

Hi All,

I have a gutter guard installation business & I'm going to pass out some flyers around a
neighborhood I recently installed some.

I came up with some headlines to start things off with please tell me which one is
best or if you guy's have a better one I'm open for suggestions.

Stop Cleaning Your Gutter's

Install Gutter Guards & Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Them

Install Gutter Guards & Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Leaves

Install Leaf Guards Covers And Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Your Gutters

Install Leaf Guards Covers And
Say Goodbye To Cleaning Them

Install Gutter Guards And Say "Goodbye" To Clogs

Dirty Gutters ? Let Us Solve Your Problem Now
With Gutter Guards

Which one should I use, I'm also going to have a
picture of the product under the headline.


#2 Respree


    Honored One Who Served Moderator Alumni

  • Hall Of Fame
  • 5901 posts

Posted 07 August 2007 - 06:36 PM

Hi JW and welcome to Cre8asite.

I believe people react and are motivated by their desire for pleasure or avoidance of pain and would recommend using this principle when thinking about how to get a favorable reaction. The understandably want to know "What's in it for me?" The last thing you want is to write a headline that gets "no" reaction.

Your headline should be interesting enough to grab their attention and, at the same time, communicate the benefits.

Let's see now. Rain gutters, huh? Let's see if we can help you out.

Most of the headlines you came up with revolve around the idea of cleaning your gutters. Personally, I found that idea a little weak and the thought of having clean rain gutters did not communicate any benefits to me. Here's why. It's very possible that I have dirty rain gutters right now and don't know it. Had the rain gutters been prominently displayed in my living room, having dirty ones might present a problem for me (visually). However, the debris that is in there is conveniently located outside my field of vision. Frankly, I don't even notice them each time I walk by it. So whether they're clean or dirty, visually it's not an eyesore for me. With respect to debris in rain gutters, I think I probably fall within of majority of people who believe "you can't see it, it must not be there."

So now is your perfect opportunity to educate us and set us straight in the wrong thinking. What will happen if the debris gets too bad? Well, of course, it will clog and the rain will damage the very expensive house that has consumed a good chunk of your salary for the past 30 years (i.e. "avoidance of pain," see above).

If it were me, I'd probably recommend something like:

"Install gutter guards and avoid costly repairs to your valuable home"


"Install gutter guards and protect your most valuable investment"

or something along those lines.

Hope these thoughts help.

Edited by Respree, 08 August 2007 - 08:09 AM.

#3 SEOigloo


    Honored One Who Served Moderator Alumni

  • Hall Of Fame
  • 2100 posts

Posted 08 August 2007 - 01:22 AM

Garrick is so smart, I wouldn't disagree with a word he said in this thread, but I did want to add the following to this. I was kind of thankful for John's clear statement:

"Install Leaf Guards Covers And Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Your Gutters"

I suddenly realized the point of it. In other words, "Oh, that's what they do".

Mark me down as being really silly here, but the term 'gutter guards' just didn't register with me and might not make sense to a new homeowner with little gutter experience without the explanation. If it just said to protect my home, I'm afraid I'd discard the flyer without ever having realized what it was about. Anyway, that's how it seemed to this user. Maybe other folks here have had more gutter cleaning experience than I.

Good luck with your flyer!

#4 DCrx


    Hall of Fame

  • 1000 Post Club
  • 1301 posts

Posted 08 August 2007 - 06:36 AM

All are tepid headlines.

I would try to find the statistics for an authoratative headline like:

Last year, 22 people were attacked by sharks, but 384 people reported accidentally falling while cleaning gutters...

Don't Risk Your Life Cleaning Gutters Ever Again

Last year [authoritative source] reported 384...

You're advertising like you're the first person who ever had a solution to gutter cleaning. None of the headlines flag the reader's attention or provide enough self-interest to bother reading. Further, it's like the ad was made in a competitive vacuum.

People are glancing at this stuff while it's drifting into the waste bin. You have exactly that long to get attention, no more. There are competitors. Attention is scarce.

I would look at this flyer within the context of someone getting something similar from a competitor last week. And something much better -- with a coupon, having an expiration date and genuine call to action -- from a different competitor next week.

Around thanksgiving, Allstate talks about the exact number of people who set fire to something using those oil fryers for turkeys (50-60 per year). I'm reasonably sure as someone with access to google and fifteen spare minutes, you can turn up some stronger copy.

Edited by DCrx, 08 August 2007 - 06:51 AM.

#5 Jozian


    Light Speed Member

  • Members
  • 583 posts

Posted 09 August 2007 - 10:12 AM

I agree with DCrx's opinion that capturing attention is paramount. Using a stat like he suggests is a good idea, but I would wrap it in something less harsh and more evocative.

My idea would be to use imagery and the words below to juxtapose the leaf with the problem:

The Leaf: beautiful in nature.. and a bomb in your gutters.

This type of association can be effective in influencing attitudes, and that's what you want if you are seeking business from people that are not actively seeking your solution. You don't want to just show a picture of water damage or dirty gutters, because those are negative and generally unconnected to potential customer. Using a juxtaposition statement can let you start from a concept in common agreement and then channel though in a new direction.

Then emphasize the benefits:

-avoid water damage
-avoid falling from the roof
-how great they look

Frankly, I would leaving the Guards out of the headline. Sell the benefit, not the solution, as Garrick and Miriam suggest.

#6 AbleReach


    Peacekeeper Administrator

  • Hall Of Fame
  • 6471 posts

Posted 09 August 2007 - 12:26 PM

I re-read your post to see if you were selling gutter guards that the homeowner would install, as many of your titles start with "Install Gutter Guards." I'd look for ways around telling them to "Install" the "Gutter Guards." The customer is solving a problem. YOU are installing the gutter guards.

I like DCrx's humor - shark attack and gutter cleaning! That would work for me. I have childhood memories of my dad climbing up on things to clean them or prune them, then getting into awful trouble when his back locked up. To this day I see a ladder and flash on my dad, embarrassed, frustrated and angry, unable to get out of bed the day after helping out around the house.

Focusing on water damage would do better for people without those kinds of memories. Landlords and property managers might also relate better to their bottom line. Do you have a chart that shows how your gutter guards can pay for themselves after however long, in comparison to other systems with or without gutter guards?

Why not do two leaflets - one that leads with solving safety hassles, and another that starts off with property damage and financial benefits? The last half of each could fill in the blanks from info in the other. You could hand out a different leaflet in different neighborhoods, and keep track of the results.

Be sure to run your text by someone who does grammar and spelling professionally, or even the grammar checker in Word. Trust is essential for sales, and one flub can do a whammy on "authoritative."

Stop Cleaning Your Gutter's

should be

Stop Cleaning Your Gutters

#7 DCrx


    Hall of Fame

  • 1000 Post Club
  • 1301 posts

Posted 09 August 2007 - 01:09 PM

Lots of good points. The thing is breaking through the clutter. And perhaps spending more than twenty seconds on forums posts.

#8 kermitthefrizzle


    Ready To Fly Member

  • Members
  • 11 posts

Posted 11 September 2007 - 08:45 AM

I really liked the ideas posted above, but if it were me I would definitely go with the shark attack one, or something along those lines. This is simply because you're doing all the things that were previously mentioned (call to action, authoritative, etc.) but you're also being funny, which is a HUGE differentiator between you and your competition. What's more, were I in the market for gutter guards and received leaflets containing all these headlines, it would be the shark attack one that I would pause, thinking what the heck, and reread.
I feel really uncreative, as I cannot come up with anything better than what's already been said, but I just thought I'd add my two cents!

#9 niemi


    Whirl Wind Member

  • Members
  • 50 posts

Posted 11 September 2007 - 06:05 PM

Install Gutter Guards And Say "Goodbye" To Clogs


Install Gutter Guards & Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Leaves

#10 businessservicesuk


    Ready To Fly Member

  • Members
  • 43 posts

Posted 25 September 2007 - 03:30 AM

Stop Cleaning Your Gutter's - Sounds like you are telling them to stop cleaning their gutters

Install Gutter Guards & Say Goodbye To Cleaning Them - Cleaning 'them' don't like that

Install Gutter Guards & Say Goodbye To Cleaning Leaves - Much better

Install Leaf Guards Covers And Say Goodbye To Cleaning Your Gutters - Bit long winded

Install Leaf Guards Covers And Say Goodbye To Cleaning Them - Another mouthful

Install Gutter Guards And Say "Goodbye" To Clogs - I thought the Dutch wore Cloggs

Dirty Gutters ? Let Us Solve Your Problem Now With Gutter Guards - What type of problems? If they solve the hormonal ones, I guess your onto a right winner

Edited by businessservicesuk, 25 September 2007 - 03:33 AM.

#11 Respree


    Honored One Who Served Moderator Alumni

  • Hall Of Fame
  • 5901 posts

Posted 25 September 2007 - 03:39 AM

Hate to say it, but I think john5165 is long gone and wasn't really interested in an answer. ;-(

Hopefully it will help others reading this thread with some good thoughts on writing headlines. :)

#12 macgraphic


    Unlurked Energy

  • Members
  • 5 posts

Posted 30 September 2007 - 10:27 AM

You should try all of these headlines and test them to see which ones are working and which ones don't.

As a homeowner I'm always worried about getting scammed so you could try something along those lines.

Good Luck!

#13 ryan5billion


    Ready To Fly Member

  • Members
  • 10 posts

Posted 27 November 2007 - 07:46 PM

"Protect Your Home, Protect Your Family & Say Goodbye
To Gutter Cleaning"

#14 sally@cc


    Whirl Wind Member

  • Members
  • 63 posts

Posted 28 November 2007 - 11:42 AM

I didn't have a clue what a gutter guard was, so I shall vote for this one:

Install Leaf Guards Covers And Say
Goodbye To Cleaning Your Gutters

#15 seo_consultant


    Unlurked Energy

  • Members
  • 8 posts

Posted 30 November 2007 - 05:36 PM


Well, to me this sounds more appealing!

"Gutter Monitoring with Leaf Guards - We Take Care Of Your Gutters"

Nawaz Shahzad
Search Engine Marketing Expert

#16 derob


    New To Community

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Posted 02 December 2007 - 07:51 PM

Hi Guys, I am new to the forum and was browsing through a few threads when this one caught my eye.

I have had a lot of success when questioning something as a headline. An indirect benefit for this one would be the opportunity to not have to clean the gutters. So I would definitely try:

Are You Tired of Cleaning Your Gutters?

I can show you a better way which will save you time, money and energy

I would try several flyers with different headlines to see which works the best.


Greetings form Mount Rainier Country.

#17 bwelford


    Peacekeeper Administrator

  • Hall Of Fame
  • 9053 posts

Posted 02 December 2007 - 09:21 PM

Welcome to the Forums, derob. :wave:

That's an excellent suggestion you're making. A question mark always leaves that slight suspense. We humans tend to want to answer such a question. If so, we're hooked.

#18 derob


    New To Community

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Posted 02 December 2007 - 11:47 PM

Thanks Barry

I have done quite a bit of this stuff and have studied the subject heavily. One of the most important aspects of ANY HEADLINE is to grab the reader's attention. That is it...plain and simple.

The only thing the customer is interested in is "What's in it for him."

If you can ask a question in the headline and leave it hanging...you FORCE them to look at the next para providing the headline is interesting enough.

I would never use a headline with my product in it. Make the reader stop and think? Forget gutter / leaf guards and what they do. He ain't interested in those yet. Give him a reason to read on.

All interesting opinions nonetheless.

#19 Daingean


    Ready To Fly Member

  • Members
  • 27 posts

Posted 23 December 2007 - 09:18 AM

Tired of leaves clogging your gutters and damaging your house?

Leave it to us: We install the solution, clean up and leave.

#20 Guest_Autocrat_*

  • Guests

Posted 23 December 2007 - 11:50 AM

Well, it looks like no one is comming back to this one... but I fancy having a play (sick of css!)... so lets see...

You have approximately 0.5 to 1.5 seconds to get the readers interest... not jsut a little, but sufficient to stop them dumping it.
You also have to hook them without giving away the answer in a single line, provide the solution you are offering within a few lines after, and make an offer that sounds good.

So, technically, we are wafting the lovely smell of bacon (or tofu burgers), waving a rather interesting package in their direction... then whilst smaillg, say "you want some, right" (note, it's noit really a question, adn you end on the answer you want!)

So... grabbing attention.
You can go for shock, go for intrigue or go for affirmation.
Any of those three will usually get a little interest. Shock is the most questionable, but also tends to get a stronger response when it works.
Intrigue is second most questionable, but people tend to be curious.
Affirmation is the best, but hard to work with general audience (sympathy/empathy lines).

So those are are main three forms of bait.

After that, we need something short and informative - something that will draw them in/keep them hooked...
Statment of little known fact, statment of real benefit, statement of potential gain.
Little known facts tend to loose people if not handled perfefctly - if is so little known, it is seldomly considered as important.
Real benefit is a damn fine choice - so long as you can make a comparison that the reader identifies with.
Potential gain is the msot often used - but needs to be convincing.

So thats us relling them in and keeping the line taught.

From there, the last part is getting their confirmation.
Something needs to make them give up resisting (which is second nature to most of us), and either go "fine, i'll do it" or better yet, "yes please".
This is also the point that alot of sales propaganda falls apart on, as it tends to be propaganda.
Use real things, actual uses/benefits/features... even if they are blatant and obvious (look at credit card insurance on purchases, travel benefits, ease of use, general safety - alot of common features are ignored as those that know assume those that don't know do know (that was as confusing to type as your reading it :().
It is at this point that we sell the bacon as well as the sizzle... so we need to let them know its quality, freshness, value/worth, our price (which is lower one hopes), and that it is in limited supply (not to limited, but that there won't be much around later).

So, after all the waffle....

Your home is at risk - and you haven't even realised.
You've spent a large amount of money getting your home just how you want it.
How will you feel when you discover your wallpaper peeling, mold in your plaster your homes lovely wooden supports rotten and unsafe?

X number of homes per year suffer damages such as these - and a suprising number of these are caused bu faulty guttering due to clogging, blockages etc.

Don't let your home get ruined - get protected - get Gutter Guards.

Get peace of mind, knowing that you have greatly lowered the risk of gutter blockages.
Be safe by not having to clamber and climb to clean your gutters.
Save time and money by not having to hire professionals to clean them for you.

To help lower the risk of injury whilst protecting your home, we will fit your new gutter gaurds for free.
Call NAME today, and they will book you in as soon as possible.

Not 100% perfect, but covers most of the bases.

#21 New Frontier

New Frontier

    New To Community

  • Members
  • 2 posts

Posted 27 March 2008 - 04:33 AM

Install Gutter Guards And Say "Goodbye" To Clogs is the caption i liked from the given set of names that were present.There is no hard and fast rule to create a headline but i believe in certain things such as the headline must be as short as possible and at the same time convey the message this is going to follow.For eg-:M.I-2 sounds pretty cool.

[url removed by moderator]

[moderator note: Please refrain from placing your URL into the body of the posts. You may do so, however, in your signature file. Thanks for your cooperation.]

Edited by Respree, 27 March 2008 - 04:40 AM.

RSS Feed

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users